The Knight Before Christmas Synopsis: A medieval English knight is magically transported to the present day where he falls for a high school science teacher who is disillusioned by love.
When a magical sorceress transports Sir Cole (Josh Whitehouse) 600 years into the future to complete a quest, the knight finds himself in Ohio, where he meets Brooke (Vanessa Hudgens), a science teacher who has recently had her heart broken. After Brooke accidentally hits Sir Cole with her car, she brings him home until his “memory” returns.
Suspension of disbelief is generally needed in most movies, and I am capable of ignoring reality if the film is entertaining enough and provides some rational thinking. But I cannot say that The Knight Before Christmas offered me anything but illogical and nonfactual plot points.
Sir Cole – who they all call Sir Cole, rather than just Cole, which then sounds like “Circle,” and also enables his belief that he’s a knight (he is, but they don’t know that!) – does not seem too distressed that he was no longer in the 14th century. Brooke also seems too eager to take in a total stranger who believes he’s a knight.
Worse than that, she actually starts to believe him without any hardcore proof beyond his accent and his uncertainty as to how Alexa works. Brooke even handed him her car keys so he could drive into town on his own. Sure, he had issues, but there was no way he’d be driving a car in the snow after having been in 2019 for only two or three days.
He also loves hot chocolate, which he continually calls “mead,” and given mead is a fermented honey-flavored beverage, I have no clue how Sir Cole could keep confusing it with a chocolate-flavored, hot drink.
Brooke conveniently has a stylish male wardrobe for Sir Cole, all remnants of clothes supposedly left behind by her boyfriend, who was apparently the same height and build as her new knight. I won’t even touch on the fact that Sir Cole carries his sword everywhere, and no one seems to have an issue with it. As for his “quest,” I guess it was to fall in love with a 21st-century science teacher. Why? We never really get to find out. Does it matter?
I could probably write an entire review of The Knight Before Christmas’s absurdity, but I fear it would just irritate me all over again. I suppose if I needed to find something nice to say about the movie, I would say that it’s beautiful to look at, although with how much snow is on the ground, I wish I could bundle up the characters a bit more because I can’t imagine their flashy peacoats and jaunty hats are keeping them very warm. But yes, The Knight Before Christmas is very festive in its production design.
Despite the horrible script, Hudgens is talented enough and seems right in her element. Given last year’s popular The Princess Switch, and this movie, I would not be surprised if she also appears in another Netflix Christmas original next season. Whitehouse is good-looking but still suffers from the insipid and dull syndrome that afflicts many leading men in romantic comedies. He and Hudgens have okay chemistry, but it’s not strong enough to overcome all of the movie’s flaws. The Knight Before Christmas is a Christmas humbug and one to skip this year.
Watched: 11/25/2019
Notable Song: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by Barenaked Ladies
