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Nick: Can you please get out of my car?
Lucy: Ugh! I selected “no talking”. Listen, Adolfo.
Nick: Adolfo?
Lucy: I would love to hear your story any other day. It’s just that I’ve had the worst night of my life, and I just want to go home.
Nick: Where are you going?
Lucy: You’re not Adolfo?! Who are you?!
Nick: My name is Nick.
Lucy: What?! Nick, you just drove me home? Are you insane? What was the plan? You’re just going to, what, weaken me with paint fumes, and then just knock me out with lumber? Leave me for dead?
Nick: I did you a favor. I, too, have had a bad day.
Lucy: Question for the group. Speaking of the devil here, when did dating one person become uncool? Because I don’t understand. Jane Austen, she didn’t write about polyamory. No, no, no! It was just Emma. It wasn’t Emma’s. Oh, we are living in very muddy times. People are lying constantly.
Max: Oh, shit.
Lucy: I know. We only have ten years before we all drown in the melting ice caps, but I swear, the most sacred resource is not the ozone. Oh, no. It’s honesty.
Max: Okay, Lucy, listen. You’re a blast. I don’t even use that word, but it fits for you. You are so funny. But we’re in completely different places in our lives. I’m thirty-five years-old. I need to find that thing.
Lucy: And that thing is not me?
Amanda: But a shared value system is the key to everlasting love. I hate everyone, and I want them to die. So does Jeff. That’s why we’ve been together for six years.
Nadine: Jeff never speaks. That’s why you’ve been together six years.
Amanda: No, but he comes really alive when we make love.
Amanda: I can’t live like this anymore. We’re getting smell complaints from the city.
Nadine: Do you know that place in the center of your body where you feel nothingness?
Amanda: No.
Nadine: Right here.
Amanda: My breasts?
Nadine: No. Underneath your breasts. It’s called your heart.
Amanda: Oh, my God.
Nadine: This is where people keep their hearts. Try and be sensitive.
Amanda: You can’t have a good relationship because you’re constantly mourning the old one!
Nadine: She’s right. You live in the past.
Lucy: Yeah. It’s because the past is filled with memories and happy times. I mean, how is someone just your everything one minute and then they just forget you the next?
Amanda: Ask Nadine. She dumps bitches on the regular.
Clayton: Well, like your collecting is, it’s creepy. I couldn’t be with someone who just needed to memorialize every second of every day. And not to mention your room. I mean, whenever I would stay over, it was like hooking up in a mausoleum.
Randy: Shitty day?
Nick: Yeah. Eviction notice.
Marcos: I wouldn’t say terrible.
Nick: Well, we have thirty days to open.
Marcos: Our entire livelihood is in danger. I don’t know how I’m going to feed my wife and my unborn baby, but other than that, it’s pretty good.
Randy: Welcome to the hospitality industry. Basically a slow death.
Marcos: What, are you like Asian Gordon Ramsay? Why would you say that?
Lucy: By the way, you just magically show up everywhere. Are you my stalker?
Nick: I think the words you’re looking for are “thank you”. And then I say, “You’re welcome.”
Lucy: Oh. I’m Lucy. Charmed, I’m sure.
Nick: This is all your fault.
Lucy: I’m so sorry. We should probably get some ice on that.
Nick: Here’s an idea. Why don’t you leave me alone?
Lucy: No, only a terrible person would leave you in your time of need.
Nick: Yeah. And I’m beginning to think you are that terrible person.
Lucy: No! I’m nice. If you got to know me, you’d be obsessed with me.
Nick: I get it. You’re a pessimist.
Lucy: That is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me.
Nick: You collect these things in anticipation that your relationships are going to end.
Lucy: No.
Nick: It’s crazy!
